Outside Looking In
by theultimatezb
Summary: Clarke finds a polaroid camera in a bomb shelter and every film has to count.


_A little something to kill time._

* * *

Her fingers ran over the plastic material of the camera as her mind replayed the movies she'd seen countless of times back on the Ark. For a moment, Clarke was transported back to her old home, movie nights with her mum and dad and her best friend. It didn't matter how many times they'd saw the films that were neatly organized and stacked in the Ark's library. It didn't matter if she'd memorized the lines and the endings. It was the company that matters, the time they spent together, when her father and Wells were still alive.

Thanks to those movies, she could recognize what that object was. An instant camera – with a push of a button, you could capture a memory forever. Clarke picked up the camera and imitated what she saw in the movies, she brought it to her face and peered into the viewfinder.

Her index finger pushed the button at the top and to her surprise, Clarke almost dropped the camera at the sudden white flash, not realizing there was actual film in the camera. She pulled the film out of the camera and waited. There wasn't much to see in the darkness of the abandoned bomb shelter, but through the photograph, she could see the table in front of her and the pack of stale cigarettes next to a stack of books. Clarke was in awe, a smile pulled at her lips, suddenly she felt like she was 9 again when her dad showed her his famous magic tricks.

She looked around and was glad no one was in the same room as her to witness the abrupt white light from the camera. Abby had sent a scouting team to patrol around Camp Jaha to look for any kinds of resources that could be useful to their people.

The bunker was dark and huge, much bigger than the last one they'd came across. The underground establishment probably had already been ransacked by the Grounders, but there was still a chance for the team to find things that could benefit them even if the Grounders had no knowledge of the stuff they left behind. Some days, Clarke would tag along. Some days they'd find junk and some days they'd find things of use.

"Is that a camera?" Bellamy looked over her shoulder.

Startled out of the initial awe of her most recent findings, Clarke nodded, hands still glued to the camera. It was old, yet very new to her. She knew enough to know that instant cameras were a thing of the past, way before the Ark, before the nuclear war. She knew from the movies she'd seen, the dates on the back of the disc cases.

"There's a pack of films, too."

"You should keep it."

* * *

Clarke had three films left. She knew she had to make them count, it had to be meaningful, to capture the essence of life, of joy and beauty. Something she could keep forever. A picture was worth a thousand words, after all.

Lexa didn't question Clarke when she sees the blonde holding the camera up to her eye for a few minutes at a time. Sure, she was curious and had asked Clarke what that thing was for, why she always had it in her bag. She understood when Clarke explained the simple mechanics to her and showed her some of the pictures she'd taken. But during long walks along the river or short picnics on the grass, Lexa didn't ask why Clarke would point that thing up in the air at nothing – at the trees that looked the same and the flowers that were blooming everywhere – because she knew Clarke was waiting for the right moment to capture eternity.

Lexa wasn't there when Clarke took the first photo. It was a peaceful evening back at Camp Jaha, Clarke was surrounded by her loved ones, people she fought hard and mercilessly to protect. Octavia had a flower in her hair and her arms Lincoln, Raven was smiling – a real, genuine pain-free smile, the light in her eyes slowly regaining its brightness one day at a time – at something Monty and Jasper had just said, Bellamy was concentrating on making sure the meat over the fire wasn't burnt and her mum had a cup of drink over her lips to hide a smile.

Clarke loved every single one of them, she really did. After the fall of Mount Weather, Clarke felt like she had lost her humanity in order to save her people, one of the things that kept her sane since day one on the ground and from being one of the bad guys. But when she finally returned to Camp Jaha months after the Mountain, she felt like she was outside looking in, never the same Clarke again. The photo she took right before the flash surprised all of them (right before Octavia had to peel herself off of Lincoln and demanded to look at the photograph and complained how dirty her face was) reminded her of that, but she was perfectly okay with it. She belonged with someone else anyway, she belonged with Lexa.

Clarke and the rest laughed when Octavia threatened to throw the photograph into the fire. She could only hope that this would last forever, no more wars and battles and death, not when her people were slowly trying to piece themselves back together again.

* * *

It didn't take her long to take her second photograph. They were in bed, candles decorating every corner of Lexa's room in Polis, windows ajar to let the moonlight in and cool wind dance pleasantly across their glowing skin. It had been two weeks since they last saw each other, a formal exchange back at Camp Jaha, lips muttering political and serious issues but their eyes conversing so much more – "I miss you", "I can't wait to touch you, to hold you" – ending with a courteous goodbye with the promise of seeing each other again in two weeks' time. They were keeping their relationship private for the moment, but Clarke wanted to kiss the Commander right then and Lexa wanted to announce to the whole world that the Sky Girl was hers.

Lexa had always been on her mind, every minute of every day, and as she was tracing her fingers over the tattoos on Lexa's back, Clarke remembered the camera that was in her bag and sitting on the bedside table and she'd captured the relaxed warrior in bed, eyes closed, long brown hair swept to the side and a serene smile on her face.

As Clarke waited for the picture to develop, in between tender kisses and gentle touches, Lexa muttered sleepily against Clarke's lips, the sweet smile from earlier morphed into a cheeky grin.

"I'll have to kill you if you show this to anyone."

And when she looked at the photograph, Clarke gasped at the simply breath-taking picture in her hand. Lexa had opened her eyes just before Clarke pushed the shutter release button, green eyes soft and full of unspoken, loving words. Tanned skin peeking out from the furs and one side of her tattoo was visible. Her face still flushed from earlier. Clarke could stare at this picture of Lexa forever.

"Never."

She'd never show something so precious and close to her heart to anyone.

* * *

Lexa would do anything for her people. She'd starve if it meant children and mothers get to eat. She'd fight a pauna or stand at the forefront of a battlefield if it meant her people would be safe.

But she only learnt how much she was willing to do for one person after she'd met Clarke, and after she'd met sweet, beautiful Talia with eyes as blue as her mother's and skin as tanned as her own. Lexa was willing to burn a whole forest, to destroy the world and walk through hell to face the devil himself to protect the people she loved, her _family_.

In a few moments, they were going to bring Talia out into the city. The whole of Polis had been waiting to meet Heda and Wanheda's child, the symbol of love, the promise of the future, and a new generation of war and peace.

Clarke was completely in love with the tiny miracle who'd just been over two weeks' old. She couldn't believe something so precious, so small came out of her, and Clarke just couldn't put Talia down since the second she was born.

And Lexa was in love with how smitten Clarke was with their daughter.

With a grin that hadn't left her face for days and Talia's small chubby hand wrapped around a slender finger, Lexa thought about Clarke's camera. She tore herself away from her family and looked for it while Clarke barely noticed that her wife was missing, the blonde was still transfixed by Talia's angelic smile.

Lexa dusted the thing off and placed her finger on the button. It seemed easy enough to operate the camera since she'd seen Clarke do it many times. Turning around to face her family and bringing the camera up to her face, Lexa took in a deep breath and pushed the button, startling Clarke from the little bubble she shared with the baby.

Talia barely fidgeted in the warmth of her blanket at the sudden bright flash, instead a soft giggle was emitted from the tiny human which caused Lexa's heart to swell in her chest.

"That's my last film," Clarke commented as Lexa moved closer to the bed and waited for her wife and daughter to appear on the film.

"I'm sorry."

Clarke shook her head and leaned in closer to place a sweet and chaste kiss on Lexa's lips. "Don't be. It's perfect, don't you think? Something to remind us of this moment, the three of us as a family. You made the last film count."

"Thank you for giving me this," The brunette blinked, trying to keep herself from getting emotional, but failing to do so in front of her family. "This wonderful gift."

Lexa wrapped her arm around Clarke, the other stroking Talia's cheek and her forehead against Clarke's temple. She felt tears on her own cheeks, tears of joy and gratefulness. Lexa was doing more than just surviving, she was living and fighting for something she could call her own. Thanks to Clarke, Lexa found love again. Clarke fell from the sky and Lexa fell in love, the kind of love that she wasn't looking for and yet it fell from the sky and changed her entire world.

"Thank you for letting me in, loving me and giving me a place where I belong," Clarke spoke, her voice wavering slightly and she wiped the tears off of Lexa's cheeks, her own eyes watering at the emotions behind her wife's green eyes. "I'm no longer outside looking in."

The shuffling of feet outside their bedroom door let them know that it was time.

It was time to step out of their home and into the world, to show Talia what the world could offer her.


End file.
